Little Billy's at School...

BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

LITTLE BILLY ON... MATHS:

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f***ing difference? " asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.
Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f***ing beautiful!"

LITTLE BILLY ON MATHS AGAIN

The teacher asks…
“If I give you two rabbits and then another three – how many rabbits have you got?”
Billy replies, “six.”
The teacher says, “No… If I give you two rabbits and then another three – how many rabbits have you got?”
Billy again says, “Six!”
The teacher gets a bit upset and tries a new tact, she takes some apples from her back and passes them across the table saying… “Look… If I give you two apples and then another three – how many apples have you got?
To which Billy counts the apples and replies, “Well that’s easy… FIVE!”
“RIGHT,” says the teacher, “so, if I give you two rabbits and then another three – how many rabbits have you got?”
Billy again says, “Six!”
“Why do you keep saying SIX?” The teacher screams…
“I’ve got one at home.” Says Billy!

LITTLE BILLY ON CHEMSITRY

The teacher asks...
"What is Copper Niterate?"
Little Billy's hand is up like a shot...
"It's what the pigs get for working nights!" He shouts.